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4399 Posts

Posted - 03/16/2012 :  21:11:20  Show Profile  Visit xardoz's Homepage
Got a call at 5:45am


That new pin-pad you put in keeps freezing up

Sorry to hear that, what does it say on the screen?

I have already cycled power to it....

Alright, what does it say on the screen now and are the blue arrows running?

I don't know, I am in the office... Guess I can walk out there....

No problem, I can hold...

It says slide card and the arrow and running...

Can you please run a card so I can know what it displays when it freezes?\

Why, when it freezes we just have to cycle power...

Please just run a card and let me know what the display says....

Well, if you are not going to help me, I will just call the office! CLICK!

Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security
will deserve neither and lose both.
Benjamin Franklin


2932 Posts

Posted - 03/16/2012 :  22:03:12  Show Profile
Been there done that.....
how about this call:
my pumps wont work.
ok, what does it say on the register?
"It keeps flashing that its is 4:05"
ok, when did this message come up?
"right after I turned off the canopy lights"
Can you check the breakers that you turned off?
" that's not the problem, I need you here ASAP"
Upon arrival on site look at breaker panel and breaker labeled "electronic central" is off.
Upon showing this to the manager who was not on site during the phone call I get to see uncooperative cashier put in their place "PRICELESS"
Plus we got paid...
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4399 Posts

Posted - 03/16/2012 :  22:19:35  Show Profile  Visit xardoz's Homepage
Good One!

Back when the Wayne Plus/3 roamed the earth....
It was a snowy night in Western Washington at 10pm
Get a call that the Plus/3 is down
Call the site:

Major Oil (Name change to protect the idiots working there)

Yes Sir, I am with your service company and I hear you are having issue with your register.


OK, But if you go into your office to the back wall there is a box named Teal, please go ......

What! Do you not want to do your job! You have 4 hour to get here!

Sir, it is dangerous driving conditions and I can get your site running in minutes if you just go to your office and....

That is not my job! Do I have to call Wayne and tell them to send someone else?

No Sir! I am just trying to get you site up faster as I am 3 hours away....

Then you better get driving! CLICK!

So I drove the 100 miles in the snow, with many assh*les who do not know how to drive in my way.
get to the site to find it almost 100% dark
Bang the the doors...

What? Can't you see that we are closed! (Turning and walking away)
Sir, I am here to fix your system. (He made it back into the office)

Bang the the doors...

What?! We are closed! (Turning and walking away again)

I grabbed the doors and started shaking them, hitting just the right frequency, the mag locks let go!
I pushed by him, into his office, reached the Teal and reset the breaker, turned around and said sign here!

Then to my astonishment!
He said, you could have told me to do that over the phone

Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security
will deserve neither and lose both.
Benjamin Franklin
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586 Posts

Posted - 03/17/2012 :  17:40:34  Show Profile
I'm here to work on pump 3.

Poomp 3 no work you go poomp 4

I know pump 3 doesn't work. I'm here to fix it.


*go back outside. fix pump 3*

"Poomp" 3 works. Sign here.

My friend, my friend. You take drink. You fix Ruby?

No, I can't sell you cigarettes. I don't work here and this pile of parts is the cash register.
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255 Posts

Posted - 03/17/2012 :  19:40:51  Show Profile
I have the above conversation at least once a day, M-F.
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4399 Posts

Posted - 03/17/2012 :  20:04:55  Show Profile  Visit xardoz's Homepage
Come on, there has to be more funny ass stories.....

Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security
will deserve neither and lose both.
Benjamin Franklin
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54 Posts

Posted - 03/17/2012 :  21:10:44  Show Profile
ok here goes:

attendant: pump no work, you fix?
me: sure, it seems your power supply burned out. It will cost $xxx to fix.
attendant: ok, you fix.
after fixing the pump.....
me: ok here's your bill
attendant: boss never called me so I no pay
me: oh, you no pay, huh?
attendant: I no pay
me: ok your pump no work again
removes power supply from dispenser

20 minutes later call from boss
boss: you come back and fix pump?
me: sure but it'll cost you
upon return charged a second service call plus mileage plus stupid tax (annoyance fee) wound up costing double!
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4399 Posts

Posted - 03/17/2012 :  22:46:54  Show Profile  Visit xardoz's Homepage
Now that is some funny sh*t!

Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security
will deserve neither and lose both.
Benjamin Franklin
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287 Posts

Posted - 03/18/2012 :  05:55:41  Show Profile
I had to remove a couple hundred gallons of phase seperation from a tank and lines once...

me: it's going to cost $xxxx
store owner: why so much?
me: that's cheap, i'm giving you a break because i like you (not really but i have found this works sometimes when negotiating with certain store owners)
store owner: ok go ahead

after i removed all the phase seperation i went inside to try and collect. my truck was still parked next to the tank and hoses were still out.

me: ok i'm all done.
store owner: hands over check
me: this is not what we agreed upon.
store owner: you were only out there for a short while its not worth $xxxx.
me: i still have to go and dispose that stuff
store owner: you have to help me out
me: i am that's why i'm only charging you $xxxx (again not true, i was charging a fair price)
store owner: well i already wrote the check, thats all i can afford
me: but you agreed to $xxxx
store owner: you take check
me: don't worry about it, i'll just drop your dirty fuel back into your tank

i walked out the door went back to my truck hooked up my hose and dropped it into the tank. i was just about to open up the ball valve when he came back out with the original check and the difference in cash.
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4399 Posts

Posted - 03/18/2012 :  16:34:18  Show Profile  Visit xardoz's Homepage
Alright Then, funny sh*t must only happen to me, I will fire the next volley!

I am changing the filters at a Hyper-Market, working on the last frame.

A customer pulls up on the other side, running over my 36" cone.

As she get out of her truck, my helper asked:
"Should I tell her the Dispenser is down?"

"No", I responded, "She looks like she knows what she is doing..."

I continued with the filter change as she ran her card and answered the 12 DCR questions

Then as she got no fuel, she look around the dispenser and asked:
"Is there something wrong with this pump?"

I said, "I do not think so, just a minute please"

Reaching down I reset the shear valve and walked around to her truck and squeezed the handle
It took of at high speed.

She protested saying "I DID THAT!"

I just said "These things happen and can you back off my cone when you are done??"

Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security
will deserve neither and lose both.
Benjamin Franklin
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82 Posts

Posted - 03/20/2012 :  19:01:03  Show Profile
Try this one...

I was working under an old suction pump. I had the entire area coned and taped off.
We had to actually dis-mount the pump and jack it up to work on the piping.

I am halfway UNDER the pump and I felt something tapping my leg.
I wriggle out and look up. A guy is standing there, he had nudged me with his foot.

"Can I get some diesel?"

I will leave my reply up to your imagination..

You can find my Pump Codes app on the Android Market
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595 Posts

Posted - 03/20/2012 :  19:30:18  Show Profile
late 80's, I was walking out the door headed for church when the pager went off. Seemed someone had hit a dispenser at a station. I got out there as the fire department was leaving. They had GB highlines and the canopy post were wrapped in Cedar. Someone had hit one of the Highlines and knocked it completely off the island. A small fire flashed and burned the cedar on the canopy post.
I had just finished making everything safe, capped line, electric disconected etc. I had stood the burned highline against the canopy pole and strapped it to the pole to hold it until we could get a truck there Monday to pick it up. The whole area was wrapped in caution tape.

I walked out side and there was this little old lady, straight from church pulled up to the burned dispenser. The hose was completely burned off, only thing holding the nozzle to the pump was the ground wire that had been inside the hose. This little old lady had the nozzle in her car, the wire spiraling back to the pump and she was looking at her hands and I just knew she was thinking "why is all this black stuff on my hands". I walked up and she asked "does this pump not work?" I held my laughter in long enough to say sorry but it was out of order.

I can't fix stupid, But I can sure charge for it.
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595 Posts

Posted - 03/20/2012 :  19:42:34  Show Profile
had a sub-unit out at a major oil location. This location had a main entrance and a side entrance from a shopping center. The tanks were right in the middle of this side entrance. I had checked amps and then pulled my van to block the entrance and protect me. I was in the sump when the dealer walked up and said

you have to move your van, you are blocking the entrance
Sorry sir but the van is there for my protection, I left enough room for people to get around and your main entrance is still open
You can't block the damn entrance
Sir if the van isn't here I don't work
Just move you'r damn van

I picked up my tools, closed the sump and pulled my van into a parking entrance. I was washing my hands when he walked up

Is my nolead working
no sir, it sure isn't
what are you doing then
I told you if the van isn't there I am not working in the sump
We will see about this, I am calling corporate

I waited for him to make the phone call, he came out and said

the guy in charge of the region wanted to talk to me and he is pissed

I answered the phone and the big guy said Jeff what is going on? I explained to him the issue and he said put your van back where ever you need it and fix it.

All I could do was smile when I was getting my ticket signed.

I can't fix stupid, But I can sure charge for it.
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10 Posts

Posted - 03/20/2012 :  21:32:08  Show Profile
site 1.5 hrs away, nothing even close as far as parts or anything.
good techs at my closest DIST. 3 hrs from site.
sat 430 am,
RING RING, hello this is me
I cant pump gas. (site infamous for turning off STP breakers and not telling the next shift)
(manager close store on friday 2nd shift like 330am, sat morning, or something crazy).
Ok go to big grey box next to rest room, open it, bottom 3 STP right side breaker , looks like a big switch. clearly marked.
are they pushed to the left.
No red showing to right of switch.
Look to you left see silver box with pipes going to it?
Go find power cord and unplug it,count to 30 and plug back in, thank you .
i will see you in 2 hrs, fastest i can be there.
click .............expletive deleted.
wake wife, she rides , or naps, down there. might as well go fishing afterwards, got friends 8 miles from site.
STP breakers are off, d box was unplugged.
10 mins on site tops. charged the site fair price for after hours.
min. 4 hrs

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4399 Posts

Posted - 03/20/2012 :  22:23:51  Show Profile  Visit xardoz's Homepage
Hell Yeah Free Fishing Trip!

Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security
will deserve neither and lose both.
Benjamin Franklin
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132 Posts

Posted - 03/21/2012 :  09:05:48  Show Profile
Years ago working on a dispenser, all coned off and parts and tools laying all round the island. Coned off properly. Went inside to isolate power to dispenser, (breakers under the counter don't ask me why). When I hear screams from all the clerks. OH MY GOD! He ran that guy over. I pop my head up from under the counter to see what the excitement was about. Customer had driven over my cones and tools and was attempting to fuel. Apparently in the 30 seconds I was under the counter they had forgot I was down there. I walk out to the dispenser, ( He is still trying to get fuel). To which I hear. Hey! Do you work here! This piece of #$#$@ don't work! To which I reply. Yep it sure don't. But, if you'll back off by tools, parts and cones I'll fix it up especially for you to use.

Yes..this pump is out of service. I'm trying to lower the prices if you would like too wait.
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